"Grieving in Silence"

For the past several weeks,
I've been grieving in silence.
Lost one of my family/friends
To domestic violence.

And though it pains me,
That you're gone away.
I'll be thinking about you--
Every step of the way.

LaTasha B.

© 2017                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

"Hidden"

Hidden is the truth,

Hidden is the lies,

Hidden is the sun--

Behind her gray skies.

Hidden is the truth,

Hidden is the lies,

Hidden is her pain--

Beneath her heavy eyes.

LaTasha B.

© 2017

"It Still Makes Me Sad" (part 2)

It still makes me sad,

That I believed in you.

And all I have are the scars--

Of what I've been through.

LaTasha B.

© 2017

"It Still Makes Me Sad" (part 1)

It still makes me sad,

That it was a decision I had to make.

And though I'm getting through it--

It was a costly mistake.

LaTasha B.

© 2017

"(Letting Go) Hurts Like Hell"

I have to cry about it--

It's the only way I can let go.

It still hurts like hell,

I just thought I'd let you know.

LaTasha B.

© 2017

"Make It, Take It, Fake It, Break It"

I don't think I'm a make it--

My soul just can't take it.

A smile, I can't fake it.

My heart, you can break it.

LaTasha B.

© 2017

"Break Down My Walls"

Break down my walls--
Go ahead and give it a try.
I'm not good with hellos,
And I hate a goodbye.

Break down my walls--
Go ahead and give it a try.
I'm not good with the pain,
And I hate when I cry.

Break down my walls--
Go ahead if you dare.
Tell me you love me,
Tell me you care.

Break down my walls--
Go ahead and give it a tear.
Judge me by my personality,

And not the clothes that I wear.

Break down my walls--
Go ahead and give it a try.
I thought I was outgoing,
Now it turns out I'm shy.

Break down my walls--
Go ahead and give it a try.
I'm extremely guarded,
I won't even lie.

LaTasha B.

© 2017

"What's Wrong Pretty Girl?"

What's wrong pretty girl?
What lies beneath those eyes?
Is it a happy soul?
Or a sad one hidden beneath all the lies?

What's wrong pretty girl?
What happened to your heart?
We used to be best friends,
But now you're distant and so far apart.

What's wrong pretty girl?
Why do you over think so much?
Just live your life,
And forget about the little things and such.

What's wrong pretty girl?
I used to know you oh so well.
But now you seem like a different person--
One I can hardly tell.

What's wrong pretty girl?
Why don't you ever feel like enough?
Why do you hide your vulnerability?
Why do you have to seem so tough?

What's wrong pretty girl?
Why can't you love yourself for you?
Why can't you ever be enough?
With all the little things that you do.

What's wrong pretty girl?
How can you love everyone but yourself?
You give a lot of love out--
And yet, your heart stays on a shelf.

What's wrong pretty girl?
You always seem to share your light.
But it disappears at times--
As if you turn to night.

What's wrong pretty girl?
Why don't you get up out your head?
It's time to lay down now,
And head straight back to bed.

LaTasha B. (LB)

© 2015

"Rainy Days of Nostalgia"

I hate rainy days like today--
Where they make me feel sad and nostalgic...

I have to be at work
But I'm sad as hell.
I'm trying to smile
But that's hard as well...

Not all rainy days are like this--
Only some.
It just turns out that today
Happens to be one.

Passing the place--
Where love once belonged.
I look to see if my love is there
But I see no one...

Listening to James Bay "Let It Go"--
When it only makes me sad.
Thinking about you and everything
We would've had.

Sad days like this--
Really makes me feel lonely.
Time to put a fake smile now
So no one will ever know me...

LaTasha B. (LB)
© 2015

"Holes in My Heart"

I have holes in my heart--
So many empty spots.
It's hard to love them all,
When you're the one they forgot...

It's hard fitting in--
So many different locations.
Every new place,
Seems like a different vocation.

New faces,
New names,
Until time
Erases them all.

Or even worse,
I remember them all.
And time always rushes--
It never stalls.

So many holes in my heart--
And every wound hurts.
She lived a lonely life--
As an endless flirt.

I have holes in my heart--
But that's nothing new.
I couldn't fill it up,
Even if I wanted to.

Trust me, I've tried--
I've even cried.
The pain never ends--
It only subsides.

I have holes in my heart--
Why should I leave it intact?
I'd much rather take it out,
As a matter of fact.

LaTasha B. (LB)
© 2015

"Tears of A Clown (The Entertainer)"

My mind is so strong--
But it over thinks too much.
Over random things,
And little things and such.

I need to get active,
I need to get out of bed.
I need to get away from these thoughts--
That are inside of my head.

But I'm really sick,
And I'm really tired.
Life has a way
Of making us feel like a liar.

People call me sweet--
But I often think it's a lie.
It seems that I'm the kindest,
Whenever I start to cry.

Where is the logic--
In any of this?
When I over think so much,
It leaves me crazy like this.

See, one day I'm really smart--
With a lot of things to say.
And then the next day I feel empty,
And lonely in a way.

Most days I feel crazy--
Like I'm out of my mind.
Like why is it so hard
To find some peace of mind?

Complicated, complex
And totally confused...
How can I ever love someone--
Without making them feel used?

See, I know how you love--
Flaws and all.
But I'm not one to bring anyone down
When I'm starting to fall.

I'm a handful--
For even myself.
I would protect everyone--
From even myself.

See, I really love him
And I know he loves me.
But how can I truly trust someone
When I can't even trust me?

And I'm all for making people happy--
That's the choice that I've made.
But it's one massive price
That has to be paid...

And friendships are the worst--
They make me feel like a flake.
Because as much as I give,
I'm not one who's willing to take.

But what do I really give?
Kind words and some advice?
But whenever they call me to see me--
I have to check my schedule twice!

And I get it--
I'm a butterfly who likes to fly away.
And only the strongest,
Can ground me enough to make me stay.

But I still feel like I'm never there--
When they need me most.
Makes me seem like one big party,
And I'm always playing the host...

Keep the conversations light--
Airy and witty.
And maybe one day,
I'll know the entire city!

And don't bother calling me--
I'll just show up really late.
Clearly, as you can tell,
I have more than enough on my plate.

Don't worry, I'll be fine--
Just give me a minute or two.
Now welcome to my life,
It's really nice to meet you.

Be careful, I'm cunning--
You should really stay away.
I'll say all the right things,
That will make you want to stay.

But then again,
I have a habit of pushing people away...
When really, in reality,
I just want them to stay...

But come along for the party--
I'll entertain you all day!
But when it's over and I'm alone,
Just leave me that way...

Trust me, I'll be fine--
Life is lonely that way.
And I'm the biggest clown,
Who's a phony by the way.

And if you're feeling sorry for me--
Then, I guess I've done it.
A huge pity party!
That's all I ever wanted!

Clearly, I'm lying.
That's not how I want it to be.
Because at the end of the day,
The only person that is hurting-- is me.

LaTasha B. (LB)
© 2015

"Those Disappointing Eyes (I'll Be Your Clown)"

Surprise,
Surprise,
There are those disappointing eyes.
I wondered where they had been--
I hadn't seen them in a while.

Surprise,
Surprise,
Look at those disappointing eyes.
The ones that only speak the truth--
And sees through all the lies.

Surprise,
Surprise,
There are those disappointing eyes.
The ones that breaks my heart--
And always seem to make me cry.

Surprise,
Surprise,
Look at those disappointing eyes.
The ones that say hello--
But they're really saying goodbye.


Surprise,
Surprise,
There are those disappointing eyes.
I wondered where they had been--
I hadn't seen them in a while.

Surprise,
Surprise,
Look at those disappointing eyes.
The ones that sees through my mask--
And underneath my disguise.

Surprise,
Surprise,
There are those disappointing eyes.
The ones that look at me--
And often criticize.

Surprise,
Surprise,
Look at those disappointing eyes.
The ones that I hate--
And often recognize.

Surprise,
Surprise,
There are those disappointing eyes.
I wondered where they had been--
I hadn't seen them in a while.

LaTasha B. (LB)
© 2014

"Earth Shattering"

My body aches--
So, my heart is breaking.
My smile looks real--
But I'm only faking.
My feet stands still--
But the ground is shaking.

LaTasha B. (LB)
© 2014

"Only When I'm Happy"

They only love me when I'm happy--

So many have disappeared...
It's okay darlings,
I keep those who care near.

They only love me when I'm happy--
Which makes me really sad.
I can't help it that sometimes,
My days get really bad...

They only love me when I'm happy--
I'm not blind, I can tell.
I can see the difference,
And when the numbers fell...

They only love me when I'm happy--
It's okay, I understand.
But there's only so much,

That I can withstand.

They only love me when I'm happy--
They disappear when I'm sad.

I suppose it's my fault,
And for that I feel bad.

They only love me when I'm happy--
And I guess that's alright.
But I can't fake my happiness,
Not today, not tonight.

They only love me when I'm happy--
So, it's time for me to go.
I love you my loyal darlings,
I just thought I'd let you know.

They only love me when I'm happy--
So, it's time for me to disappear.
And when I'm feeling better,
I'll come back and reappear. ;)

LaTasha B. (LB)
© 2014

"Trapped Inside My Sadness"

Trapped inside my sadness--

Cleanse me with the rain.

Why is my path to happiness--

Filled with so much pain?

LaTasha B. (LB)

© 2014

"Heart of Exhaustion"

It breaks my heart to see people in pain,
So much that sometimes it drives me insane.

My heart it breaks, often so,
That I tend to breakdown, it's so hard to let go.

It's hard to carry all of this sadness.
My kindness, my weakness, the root of my madness.

I try to go out, get some fresh air to breathe.
I've heard some stories, you wouldn't believe.

All of the sadness, it makes me so weak.
Often sometimes, that I can't even speak.

LaTasha B. (LB)
© 2014

"So I Lie"

So I lie...
I put on a mask and I keep it all in.
I put a smile on my face as I pretend.
All you can see is the light in my eyes--
You can't see the tears that I hide.
It's okay, it's not all in vain--
I'm awake and perhaps insane.

LaTasha B. (LB)
© 2014